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How I Got What I Needed This Morning By Using Co-operation

Debra Redalia

I had an unexpected and difficult situation yesterday afternoon when I went to my community credit union to open an new business account.

I was told nobody was available. And the people that could help me with that were all booked for the day. And the first day someone would be available would be next Wednesday, 23 November.

I was surprised and confused and upset. In my entire 65 years of life I have never not been able to walk into a bank and open an account on the spot.

But these are different times.

I couldn’t come in next Wednesday as I was going out of town for three weeks. I was told I could apply online. So I went online and I will just spare you the story about what happened and the two phone calls that didn’t help.

I was experiencing a lot of resistance between what I needed and what the credit union could provide.

Finally, this morning I had to go down to the credit union in person again to make a deposit. While I was standing in line to get into the building, it occurred to me to approach this situation with co-operation. Instead of pushing for my needs to be met without considering what was happening on their side, I decided to find a solution that would consider both our needs.

So when I got to the teller, I made my deposit and then explained the problem I was having opening a new account. He explained that right now they were experiencing a problem of increased applications for new accounts and new auto loans and at the same time they had less that normal staff because many were out sick. This was the fourth person I had spoken to and he was the first person who told me this.

Once I understood the situation, I could see the solution was to cooperate with their unusual system and make an appointment for a phone call where someone could walk me through the online application. And because I could do the phone call while out-of-town, I could choose from their available phone appointment times next week.

So I’m going to do that and I’m sure it will go well.

The point here that I want to make is that if I had continued my opposing stance I might never get an account opened. But as soon as I decided to be co-operate and consider their needs as well as mine, the solution that met both our needs became apparent.

We so need more co-operation in our world today. If we could all make a switch to act from co-operation, everyone would get what they need and there would be no war. This is why I have given you this example and I am sure I will give many more.

This is not difficult to learn or incorporate. It just takes a decision to do it, awareness of when to use it, and practice until it becomes our default method of operation.

It’s actually our natural state as human beings to co-operate.

You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught
from the musical “South Pacific”
by Rogers & Hammerstein


You've got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught
From year to year,
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.


You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.


You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!


Welcome to Lifely!

Quite simply, this blog is about orienting ourselves and our lives to Life, instead of orienting ourselves and our lives to industrial consumerism. Here we are sharing our own journey. You come too. Read more...

Debra & Larry Redalia
lifepartners + soulmates

For more than 30 years we have been delving into the nature and activities of life together. Indeed, this has been and continues to be the very reason we are together. With delight, we research, explore, observe, and even wake each other up in the middle of the night to discuss how life functions and how we can function as life—even while living in the modern world. We each are different from the norm, but we are different in the same way, so we have been able to think outside of the ordinary together and find the extraordinary workings of life.

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