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The Chaos of Change—The Joy of Creation
As you may know, I’ve been working on this website for about three months—since 18 June so that’s exactly three months! During that time I’ve been undergoing a personal transition of moving from 40 years of work helping consumers find products without toxic chemicals to starting an entirely new business based on a new idea that is not yet widely known in the world. So this has been a time of tremendous change for me as well as ripples throughout the world.
I’ve learned from repeated experience that when you make a decision to move on a path toward a goal, disruption of the old order begins to happen in ways one does not necessarily expect. It seems that an obstacle you have to achieving your goal will come up to be handled. Sometimes there is such a flood of barriers that just appear so suddenly that I just stand there and scream at the universe, “Oh come on! Give me a break!”
I’ve been reading a biography of Chuck Williams, founder of Williams-Sonoma and just as he was about to open his first Williams-Sonoma store in San Francisco, after he had rented the building, he came down with polio and had to recover for three months. When I read this I just smiled and said, “Ah, chaos before order."
But I have learned that the bigger the barriers, the more chaos that is generated by my choice, the bigger the reward at the end. Things open up beyond what I could have imagined at the beginning.
As I have been continuing to work on how to explain the basic ideas behind Lifely, more and more things have been “going wrong.” Two weeks ago we had to leave our bedroom after an exterminator applied twice the recommended dose of a pesticide to the entire house where I live and I couldn’t be in our bedroom for more than one minute. So we moved out to the deck. I researched the pesticide. I called me manufacturer. They told us to shampoo the carpet with detergent and water to remove the pesticide. Which meant we had to remove EVERYTHING from the bedroom. And then it rained. And then my computer stopped working…and then…and then…
Two days ago this amazing thing occurred. Everything stopped. I left the page in my journal blank except to write
<—— WAS WILL BE —>
The bedroom was empty. Larry spent the day cleaning the carpet four times. I had built new website pages the previous day but they were empty and yesterday I couldn’t write. I actually slept much of the day. It just felt like I was in an in-between space where the past was over and the future was about to begin and I was just there in that moment. Even my calendar was empty. This week I had no appointments, where next week I already have four, all for new beginnings.
We did manage to at least set up our bed frame and mattress and sleep on the bed last night.
Yesterday morning when I woke up it was literally, as they say, “the first day of the rest of my life.”
And I now get to create my new business, and go through all my things and put them away anew, rethink everything, and envision my new future.
Everything feels open today. All possibilities are possible.
Chaos doesn’t continue forever. Chaos is what happens before the new creation comes to order. It shows you that you are on the right track. Larry likes to say, “You won’t run into barriers if you aren’t walking down the road.” Chaos is the sign we are moving forward toward our goal.
There have been days when Larry and I say to each other, “There must be something really wonderful on the other side of this because this is REALLY difficult!” And there always is. Something more than we can even imagine.
After wrinting this and reading it over and over and editing it and creating the image, I realized that to create anything is simply a matter of bringing whatever order you want to whatever chaos is there. And that's really what this website is about. We're here to bring order to the chaos of the subject of life.
I'm smiling. 🙂